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A fish drowning in the sea..

It is a sea of failer, bunion and disappointments. Weather I have brought them on my self or they have just fallen on to my lap. They are there suffocating me in to exhaustion. I don’t think I’m not going to go to English class tomorrow. I’m feeling very over loaded and tried. I just want to sleep or let all my body go num from not doing anything. I though I could handle it. I really did, but as I can see I was wrong. I’m weak and disappointing to everyone else and to myself. It is pathetic that I’m here. It is not like I’m doing anything but being a burden. Not going to my class is most likely going to result in my down fall and then I won’t be good for anything. I’m not been anything better than a failer. I missed up once and now I have to run from it hoping that it won’t catch up to me and I won’t fail and let everyone down again. I’m never going to be successful and take care of the ones I love and be independent. I can’t even pass my college level class. If I can’t pass it then I can’t pass any of the classes. I’m not go at it. I want to get in to a field in color yet. Everyone thinks I’m color blind. What am I thinking? There is nothing for me. Nothing at all for me, just despair... I feel sick! Dizzy, my stomach hurts, and woozy. The room is like moving even though I know it is not. I’m also home sick. I miss Robbie and my cat. Ot always came up to me and gave me love if I was not feeling well. I miss Robbie running around me or acting like I’m going to join his Power ranger team. I kind of miss my mom and her hugs every couple nights before bed. .. I feel like I’m going to pass out…

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( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
tsukichan
Jan. 30th, 2004 12:40 pm (UTC)
Everything will be okay! Emmaly! We will make this battle! Being in this apartment is a huge independence for you. It's a giant step, and it's natural to feel overloaded.
You won't go down with this ship! We won't sink, even though, I always say that when that song comes on! *hug* *Hug*
opeelia
Jan. 30th, 2004 06:36 pm (UTC)
*Hugs* your right L
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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opeelia
エマリ♡