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Some thoughts to get down...

I’m not to really good at conversations. Heck I’m not to well at really anything. Hum... The complete realization of this was discovered here recently. I’m not good at anything because I’m always afraid of everything. I’m not afraid of walking around outside or that something might happen to me in some way. I’m afraid of growing up… it is not the fear of getting old rather then the responsibilities and sourness that is gained. With the growing up there is the undying thought of frailer sitting around every corner. I’ll be 21 in a little under three month. I’m not an adult. I’m not even sure what to do. Everyone is getting so far and I feel trapped. The years are getting shorter and I have nothing to show for it… nothing at all. I have friends who will so leave me for their dreams a goals, a boyfriend who I never quit know were we stand and he is a adult way passed the likes of me. It would be nice just to disappear at will; like for one second to be there and the next forgotten in the wind. It all looks oh so hopeless. How does anyone do it. It baffles me at the thought. Oh, to be the boy who never grow up.

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
geraniumred
May. 13th, 2004 06:30 am (UTC)
That has always been a major fear of mine too :( I dont think my personality will ever change much, and I'm going to do my best to work my childish ways into the real world. I dont know how I'm gonna do that while dealing with all the responsibilities of being an adult, but I'm sure gonna try. Just remember one thing, you're growing to get older, but your heart never has to really grow up ^_^ <3
opeelia
May. 14th, 2004 08:05 am (UTC)
I guess your right though with time ones personality does change. Your right, I'll always be a kid at heart, but my friends and the people I care about won't be. It's just the point of being left behind and forgotten that bothers me them most. One day, I will get over it. Thank you! *big hug* ♡
tsukichan
May. 14th, 2004 02:29 am (UTC)
Emma! I understand how you feel. Growing up is by far the hardest thing to do, and all of us are at different levels, so don't worry, everything will fall into place. It's just the mystery that's scary, but I think with more confidence you will succeed very far! Have faith; It's the most important thing to hold onto!
You will always have my moral support no matter what! I just want to see you happy! We can dance and do makeup together!! ^_^
opeelia
May. 14th, 2004 07:56 am (UTC)
*hugs* Thanks, I do feel a little better. I'm just a little worried, that is all. I just like having a goal or some direction to look forward to. Thanks for being one of my best friends every. *hugs* ♡
tamakun
May. 15th, 2004 09:58 pm (UTC)
I think there is something to be said about how you are looking forward into the future. We are living in an age where we appear to be growing up too fast - or if you look at it another way, too slowly. We're still young at heart, even when we're 25, or even 30.

What's that saying? "Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't."
opeelia
May. 17th, 2004 09:20 am (UTC)
Um. Your right... People do grow up to fast or rather appear to be. I think i just like having a plain of action. I guess that it is not possible to do sometimes. hehe

Thanks *hugs*

hehe nice Quote! ^_^
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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opeelia
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